is this pathetic theft you might ask

i can't make/help/guide you feel what i feel
and that's what turns people away from me
eg. trance, faith, time, relentless thought, even coffee (i hate it)

cause i think something about 2012
and i don't metabolize the same way as others
hyper-sensitivity is something felt

it ain't something you take inside your self as the #58 

58
that's still going around my brain; sometimes as a signifier, sometimes as a correlary to a memory. i mean just like oh what a familiar pattern in the bus seat carpentry, it's in all seats, just like my memories are in.. oh man that was crappy example. went too complicated. try an action that is synchroniced by the appearance of 58. just a thought that's connected. a meaning of the number *simply* not just as the how many is this..

who cares if it's my private thing. took some time notice this is in english, didn't it? -did not, you say? well i didn't even notice the thing before i just wrote about it seconds ago.. 58 to be precise haha just k.... and i edited this once. 

but it would be really strange if you or i could show people my ideas. more time to explain. more time-text could also just be boomeranged to me by this simple comment; it gave me nothing.
cause it was a fruitless one. but leave it lying for a week. time is not linear. actually history consists of modules. can you follow my lead now?

last point; i get the feeling i lose parts of my texts. i just can't recall them even if i want. then when i come back it's changed. typos. jokes. all kinds of lost & forgotten.. but the meaning behind the words i can recall.  alzheimers? 

feeling scared. like a bear chasing me in a dark forest and running in a state of panic after seeing the holy grail by magical invocation. actually feeling it in my heart. sometime 2008. don't know if it was true. a feeling of christ's light in a grail in my chest feeling his mind open up to god. ehmm. what a great beginning to a horror movie. 

it's 1.34 imean 0.94 or 1-22hrs26min